Family Tree Picnics

I recently read a newspaper article recommending that as we gather for large family reunions during the summer and fall months, we shouldn’t squander our time talking about Auntie B’s killer creamy coleslaw recipe, baseball standings, or how much you love family reunions. We should implore all those relatives attending to report their family health histories. Yes, ask the whole gang to chronicle their health stories as far up and down the genealogy tree as possible for the benefit of the remaining family members.

Thanks, but I would rather volunteer to serve as a human horseshoe stake. “Go for another ringer Uncle Bob. Really, I don’t mind at all. It’s a good sort of pain.”

According to a survey reported by the US Department of Health and Human Services, 96% of Americans agree that knowing their family health history is essential; yet, less than a third have congregated at reunions to compile their health histories. Why? Because the three-legged-race is a much more appealing activity than discussing the morbid details of what might cause your demise!

Certainly it is important to know your family history. But taking a health history at a family picnic is not for me. First of all, as a nurse practitioner, I spend enough time asking people about their health histories as it is. Going through a checklist of maladies with the relatives is not my idea of a party. Secondly, I know from experience that when you ask someone about their health history, they will tell you…and tell you…and tell you. Third, you know the old saying: family, yard games, and beer do not mix well with genealogy. I made that last part up…but it will surely be an old saying someday.

Family reunions have a rhythm to them. There is the early phase of the get-together when you put on the nametags and exchange pleasantries and small talk. You touch on the typical topics such as gray hairs, kids growing up so darn fast, scholarships, and prison records…the routine stuff. The pre-event jitters subside, and it looks like fun. The teenagers and young ones hover about waiting for the sloppy joes to be served. Someone worries out loud that the potato salad with mayonnaise might poison everybody. So is this when you start asking family history questions? You don’t want to talk about psoriasis or syndromes while eating, do you? What about the children? My daughter can’t stand hearing the word “bunions,” and you know that this will be the least of the unsavory health terms uttered once the adults get going. Did grandma just say “severely inflamed hemorrhoids?”

Perhaps one could gather most of the family health history using astute observational skills. Let’s start with the mental health history. You look around. Yep, we are all a bit nutty. Got that one covered. Next, great-uncle Frank has a bit of a hitch in his step when he goes over to his truck to get his cooler. Probably arthritis, but he is 69 years old so most likely not a big deal. Then you may encounter some touchy subjects. Does grandpa have a dark mole on his ear? Nope, just a baked bean. We are really making some progress.

Now it’s time for the relay races—also known as the cardiovascular health test. I am guessing that a potato-sack race for the over-60-year-old contingent would give as good a picture of family heart health as an angiogram. Let’s just hope that the picnic shelter has an automated external defibrillator device close by.

Seriously now, obtaining a full family history is a great idea that can help you and future generations of your family. Incorporate this undertaking into your family reunion if you like. But I guess that most of us will continue to get this information from the best sources of all—our mothers and grandmothers who have the knack of cataloging this information along with Auntie B’s killer creamy coleslaw recipe.

Now somebody tell grandpa about the baked bean.