Infuriated in Atlanta

Dear Clever Traveler,

I flew with my 85-year-old mother to Florida last week. I had coached her on how to handle security, and at first she did a good job. But after the metal detector went off, it went downhill, and she was almost in tears when it was over. What can I do to help her next time?

—Infuriated in Atlanta
 
Dear Infuriated,
When you embarked on your trip, you probably didn’t think your mother looked like a terrorist. Was her hair in a bun? Does she have a little extra padding around the middle? That new knee could be full of explosives. 

It’s downright insulting the way our elders are treated at airport security. Sadly, those of us who fly a lot have become accustomed to the inhumane treatment we’re subjected to every time we fly. We stand there, arms humbly outstretched, while a stranger gropes us in ways our high school boyfriends never got away with (and it’s far less fun).

We’ve become used to it, but it can be mortifying for older folks. If they haven’t flown much since 9/11, they won’t be aware of how things have changed.

Our parents and grandparents were brought up to believe in modesty. Standing in a line of strangers being felt up…are you kidding me? Furthermore, for the Greatest Generation—the folks who joined the military, planted victory gardens, and have voted in every election since Herbert Hoover—it’s unimaginable that anyone would dare to think of them as un-American.

Last and maybe most important, the oldest fliers don’t understand the technicalities of the airport security process. Frankly, most of us don’t, and the government has given us far too little information.

When you travel with older folks or send them off on their own adventure, be sure to describe the security process in detail before they fly. This is especially important if they haven’t flown in years.

Most people don’t realize that metal detectors gauge the entire amount of metal in and on the body. Depending on their content, artificial joints, zippers, snaps, hair pins, and the totality of all metal can set off the alarm when someone is passing through security. When the total metal is above a threshold, the person will be hand-screened. Federal law requires that a private area be made available for secondary screening, and an elderly traveler should feel free to request this. Her travel companion can be present, and her belongings can be retrieved from the conveyor so she doesn’t have to fret about the safety of her handbag.

If you think you may have metal in your body, tell the screener before you enter the metal detector. My 86-year-old mother-in-law is a champ and announces cheerfully, “I’m the bionic woman” before she starts through the metal detector. That statement alerts the screeners, and the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) agents are invariably friendly and helpful.

A walker must be placed on the conveyor. If an elderly traveler needs help walking through the detector without it, TSA agents will supply a cane or extend their hand. 

These days, all airline passengers must remove their shoes when they pass through security. Chairs are provided for people who have difficulty bending. It’s helpful to have someone assist an older traveler to put the shoes back on.

Knowledge is power, and in this case, comfort. Go through every contingency with your mother and any older traveling companion. Let her know what she can ask for, such as assistance during the brief time she is without the walker. It will ease the mind of the older traveler to know what to expect and to realize that she is not being singled out. All fliers go through the inconvenience and indignities that are part of today’s airport security.

Dear Clever Traveler,

I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I get stuck in a middle seat every time I fly (and I’m no rookie at this). I can’t even book a seat in advance any more! Advice, please.

—Seatless in Sacramento

Dear Seatless,

New indignities are visited upon travelers every day. We are now paying to check a bag, shelling out $3 for a teensy bag of chips, and confined for 4-hour flights in a space smaller than a hamster cage. Now we can’t even choose our own cage.

On many flights, you’re not allowed to choose your coach seat in advance unless you’re a frequent flier on that airline (or an affinity group).

To try to choose your seat, go to the airline’s website exactly 24 hours in advance of your first departure. The 24-hour mark is important because that is when the airlines open the seats saved for their frequent fliers (usually, the first 10 rows of coach). After you check in for your flight, you should be able to choose seats on every flight in that day’s itinerary.

If you put your email address into your itinerary when you booked your flight, the airline should send you an email reminder to check in. Click on the link in the email, or go to the airline’s website. At some point during the check-in process, you will see a link to choose or change your seat. Click on that link to see the seat you’ve been assigned. There should be a chart with all the available seats. Click on an available seat that you want, and it should come up as your new assignment.

If you get to the screen that says “print my boarding pass” before you find the seat assignments, don’t print it. Click your browser’s “back” button until you find the seating option. 

When you are on the road, you don’t always have a printer available. Check in anyway online, and choose your seats. The airline’s website should save your new seat assignments and register that you checked in. You can print your boarding pass at the airport kiosk. 

Bulkhead seats and exit rows are premium, and you may not be able to obtain those seats online. Get to the airport early and see the ticket agent or gate agent.